Monthly Archives: December 2009

Dreaming of a Homemade Christmas

Our kids had a lot of fun this year making gifts for each other.  Alex helped Bee make play dough, which she scented with essential oils, and she also helped Zee make bubble blow and shaped bubble wands out of coat hangers. She also helped the two little ones make coupon books for me and their dad.

She made a tin with three kinds of candied popcorn for Dad, activity coloring books for both Bee and Zee, and a little pocket sized book of games and puzzles for J. She made Bee a ballerina tutu and we picked up a leotard and ballet slippers to go with it at WalMart. She also made Zee a science kit with several experiments all measured out and ready to go, but the best part was that she gave Zee her time and helped him complete several experiments, including an erupting volcano, experimenting with cornstarch, making borax crystals, and extracting the DNA from spinach. She made me some lip balm, and she made gifts for her cousins — I’ll update this after she gets a chance to deliver them.

J made a chess board for Zee, and an army fort with catapults out of craft sticks with toy soldiers from the dollar store. He spent the last two months knitting a teddy bear for Bee, and he made her several hair clips — her

favorite have jingle balls on them and she bobs her head and says “listen! My hair rings!” He also made a set of homemade barbecue seasonings for his dad, and put together a bath kit for Alex out of items from the dollar store – a back scrubber, a cleansing cloth, some bath gel and body spray, and some pretty bars of soap. I helped him make gift baskets and they looked really cute.

I made Alex and J each a two booklets, one with how to draw techniques, and another with origami folding instructions. I bundled J’s with a book on how to fold napkins that I found at the goodwill for .25, which he has been asking how to do for a while now, and a package of origami paper to practice with. Alex got a beading kit with tools for making her own jewelry, and some starter beads and findings, and I made Zee and Bee each an “I Spy” game out of felt and clear plastic vinyl.

I love this because it gave each of the kids a chance to really focus on something special that they could make and give to each other rather than what they were going to GET, and I am still not quite sure which part they enjoyed the most!

The 10 Natural Laws of Parenting

  1. Murphy’s Law: If anything can go wrong it will.
  2. The parenting law of invisibility: If your kids want something they can see you. If you want something, they can’t.
  3. The Law of Increasing Disorder: The closer it gets to the hour of some important event, the more chaotic things get. This is directly proportionate to the level of importance of the event in question.
  4. The Law of Regularity: If you ask a child to do something, he/she invariably need to use the restroom. The converse of this law is that your child will never need to use the restroom unless you are in your car at least 20 miles from the nearest restroom.
  5. The Law of Inverse Hunger: The more excitement, dessert, etc. the less hungry a child will be.
  6. The Parent’s Four laws of Motion:
    • Parental Inertia: If you want your child to do something, you will have to prod them along every step of the way. If you do not want your child to do something, this fact in itself provides all the needed inertia for the task to be done without any prodding whatsoever.
    • f=ma: If your child is running away from you, the speed at which they travel is directly related to your body mas multiplied by the speed at which you are traveling in their direction. The best way to catch up with them is to stop running, or to run in the opposite direction.
    • Every action has an equal and opposite reaction: This is why kids retaliate in kind after being hit, bit, scratched, etc. If you want it to stop, you have to step in and stop them yourself or it could go on forever.
    • If you have several children and you are moving toward them with the intent to capture, they will all move away in separate directions. (Please refer to the Parent’s Second Law of Motion)
  7. The law of Parenting Relativity: If you sit down with a child on your lap, all of the children in the house will gravitate toward you and it will not be long before all of the children have dog piled on you, with the smallest child somehow on the very bottom of the pile. This invariably results in kicking, biting, and screaming about who was there first or who should be the one who should be allowed to stay for whatever reason. This will continue until you get up and throw All of them off.
  8. The Parenting law of Conservation of Mass-Energy: Matter is neither created or destroyed, therefore missing left socks, missing keys, and other mysteriously vanishing objects have either been: a) sucked into a black hole, b) transformed into another form of energy, or c) have been buried in your child’s sandbox.
  9. The Parenting law of thermodynamics: your child’s desire to play outside and get healthy exercise, fresh air, and sunshine is directly related to the temperature. They will not want to go out because it is a) too hot, or b) too cold. The temperature will never be just right unless one of the other laws has influenced him/her in one way or another.
  10. The Electrostatic law of Parenting: Teens will only want to venture forth to any activity if there is a satisfactory electrically charged particle to with whom to join with to create an electrostatic force field (i.e. a “hot” member of the opposite sex). Be very wary if they are excited to go ANYWHERE!